1 Corinthians 7:6-11

⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. ⁸ Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. ⁹ But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. ¹⁰ To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹ But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Another Year

How did you celebrate New Year? I hope you enjoyed your celebration!

When New Year comes, some people are very anxious that another year is added to their age. How about you? Are you anxious that you’ve grown older?

Curious individuals are curious about birth month, the month you’re born. Someone estimated, “If you’re born in November, you’re conceived on Valentine Day. If you’re born in September, you were conceived in New Year probably.”

People even considered the month of their wedding; maybe, they expect to have children on a particular month. Not anyone who gets married can have biological children. Do you accept that the Lord decides who should conceive? What does the Scripture declare about children? Let’s reflect on Psalm 127:3.

 ³ Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

Most people who want to get married also wish to have children. But the Lord decides when children are born. Anyway, it is also good, admirable and biblically right and proper if someone decides to stay unmarried. For anyone who chooses to remain unmarried, what permission or concession they consider?

1.  Concession

⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

The term “concession” is also translated consent, permission or suggestion.

The Scripture declares that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. Married couples are also advised that they should fulfill their marital duty with mutual consent and devote themselves to prayer.

Apostle Paul wished that we may imitate his example. What did he imply? Did he imply that we should imitate his social status to remain unmarried?

He testified as good for the unmarried and the widows to stay unmarried, just as he did; but then, what can married people imitate from him? How about believers who are not decided yet about their social status or still not mature for marriage?

When he said, “Each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that,” did he wish that we may imitate his devotion to prayer? No matter which social status we may have or prefer it can help us understand what Apostle Paul wished for us to imitate from him in the following verses.

Let’s reflect what he advised in 1 Corinthians 7:17, ¹⁷ Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

In 1 Corinthians 7:24, ²⁴ Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

How strong do you agree that the Lord assigned a situation to each of us? Just as God called us, he also designed particular situation we should be assigned.

He gives us spiritual gift correlated to our calling. Discover your spiritual gift and you calling! Well, God is pleased when we have devotion to prayer and service to him rather than being anxious whether to get married or to remain unmarried.

Pray for godly wisdom; ask God to specifically reveal the spiritual gift he has given you. Spiritual gift is what God designed for us to experience much of his grace. And then, we testify of his transformational work in our life. As a result, we also store up eternal treasures in heaven for ourselves. What is your gift?

Wendy Griffith

As author, news anchor and journalist, Wendy Griffith promotes the value of waiting and trusting God. She testified that it’s not punishment to get married at a later age; it’s preparation for the best that God prepared; so don’t settle for less. Personally, she experienced that good things come to those who wait upon the Lord. Actually, she found love and married for the first time in her mid-50s.

As journalist, Wendy publishes her personal testimony and life experiences. As an author, she utilized her gift in writing to personally testify of God’s grace in her life. Practically, she earns money from the sales of her books; spiritually, she also earns eternal treasure in heaven for herself. She encourages believers to wait for the best that God had prepared for each believer. What do you think?

There’s no ideal age for marriage, and for anyone who wishes to remain unmarried, it is good and admirable choice. Actually, Apostle Paul advised that it is good for the unmarried and the widows to stay unmarried, as he did. But it is better for them that they should marry, if they cannot control themselves.

2.  Control

⁸ Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. ⁹ But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

How should we interpret the phrase, “the unmarried and the widows?”

Apostles Paul advised the unmarried and the widows to stay unmarried as he did, and not a few interpreters suggest that Apostle Paul was never married. The Scripture did not mention that he was never married. It is proper to interpret that he decided to stay unmarried when he wrote his letter to the Corinthians.

When he called the attention of the unmarried and the widows to marry if they can’t control themselves, it’s proper to interpret that “the unmarried” could be previously married and become widower, divorcee or never married people. Meaning, Apostle Paul could be a widower, divorcee or never married person.

His social status was not a big deal issue because he never said it outright. The bigger issue here is for the unmarried and the widows who cannot control themselves; they are advised that it is better for them to be married.

Together, let’s reflect meditatively what it advises us on 1 Timothy 5:11-14.

¹¹ As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. ¹² Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. ¹³ Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. ¹⁴So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

MARITES

Exaggerated storytelling or gossip has become problem in the first century churches. Busybodies got into the habit of being idle; they went from house to house and gossiped about nonsense things that they ought not to. Gossip can misled anyone including believers. Gossip is also the reason the name MARITES has became viral and popular somewhere. Someone coined and gave meaning to the name M.A.R.I.T.E.S. as Master of Arts in Relaying Information Through Exaggerated Storytelling. Those who indulge in gossip are called MARITES.

It also warned in 2 Thessalonians 3:11-15, ¹¹ We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. ¹² Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. ¹³ And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good. ¹⁴ Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. ¹⁵ Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

Apostle Paul had warned the church against idle and disruptive busybodies.

When he called the attention of brothers and sisters, idle busybodies can possibly be both man and woman. There’s no particular gender. Being idle and disruptive busybodies can infect anyone, man or woman, religious or not. What does it mean when we’re commanded not to associate with idle disruptive busybodies?

We avoid and not pay attention to nonsense gossips. We are commanded actually to never get tired of doing what is good. It is good to be unmarried, but for those who cannot control themselves, it is better for them to be married.

How about the married couples? What is a command of the Lord for them?

3.  Command

¹⁰ To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹ But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Apostle Paul emphasized that this command to married people came from the Lord. It was not a concession or suggestion from him. There is no implied option or preference. The term “must” is obligatory and mandatory for a wife must not to separate from her husband, and a husband must not divorce his wife.

If for any reason the wife separates from her husband, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. Personally, how do you interpret what the Scripture teaches us in Genesis 2:24? ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

God designs that married couples become one flesh; but what does it imply when it says a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife? The term “leaves” is properly interpreted as abandon and forsake. Does it mean that after he is legally married, a man should not be concerned his parents’ welfare?

No really! But the man should prioritize his wife first and foremost. Why? Let’s reflect on what it teaches in Ephesians 5:28, ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Reflect: Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. How should we interpret that and compare to the next great commandment that says, “Love your neighbor as yourself?” The term “neighbor” pertains to any other persons outside the self. And since the husband and wife have become one flesh, his wife does not count as a neighbor, right?

God’s design is husbands become one flesh with their wives but not with parents. And since God did not design husbands to become one flesh with their parents, parents are counted as neighbors. And the basis of loving a neighbor is the self.

In short, for husbands to be particularly obedient to godly command: “to love our neighbor as ourselves,” the basis of love for parents is the husband’s love for his self and his wife because he and his wife have become one flesh. Sensible?

Love for Parents

Someone worked hard to earn much money; he composed and published songs. He was able to buy a house for his mother and siblings. Then, he brought home a woman he desired to be his wife. His mother and siblings welcomed his fiancée but the man obviously prioritized his mother and siblings over his fiancée.

Think about it. If husbands love their parents more than they love their wives, is it counted as sacrificial love? If they love their parents more than they love their wives, what does it imply? They love their parents more than their selves. Why? It is because the husband who loves his wife loves himself.

The second greatest command of God is “to love neighbors as the self.”

What do you think? Do we disregard or disobey this command if we love neighbors or parents or siblings more than ourselves? Does God blessed with such sacrificial love? Could the basis of loving parents or siblings be love for spouse?

Is it biblical if husbands love their wives more than they love their parents or siblings? Biblically, it declares that the husband who loves his wife loves himself.

It commanded that a wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. How do you interpret that personally?

If the husband prioritizes his wife over his parents or if the wife prioritizes her husband over her parents, parents may feel ignored or disregarded. Right?

And when husbands prioritize their wives over their parents or wives prioritize their husbands over their parents, it has become the source of conflict.

What biblical advice should be followed to avoid conflict between in-laws?

We need godly wisdom and godly love. We need Jesus Christ to reign in us.

Keep in mind what it declares in 1 Corinthians 1:24, ²⁴But to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.

We need godly wisdom to explore possibilities that this year has to offer!

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