1 Corinthians 13:4-6  

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Types of Love

The singer cried, “Every day I wake up, then I start to break up / Lonely is a man without love; Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out / Lonely is a man without love.” Did you like singing that song? Have you pondered upon it?

Anyone can have love but that depends on the type of love you are feeling. Accordingly, experts identified at least 9 types of love: Eros love, Pragma love, Ludus love, Philia love, Philautia love, Storge [store-jay] love, Mania love, Merakin love and Agape love. Which type of love do you have or do you feel?

1. Eros is passionate love; a romantic or sexual interest kind of love.

The love of Samson and Delilah was Eros love.

2. Pragma is practical, enduring, long-term love common to arranged marriage.

Isaac and Rebekkah had Pragma love which was arranged by Abraham.

3. Ludus is playful love; uncommitted, flirty, seduce, crush, no strings attached.

Ludus love is commonly observed among teenagers or even movie stars.

4. Philia is authentic long-lasting friendship, defined by deeper trust and respect

Between David and Jonathan, Jesus and Lazarus exemplified Philia love.

5. Philautia is self-love, self-esteem, self-respect, confidence in self worth/ability.

Joseph exemplified self-respect Philautia love, and he avoided temptation.

6. Storge [store-jay] is familial love between parents and their children.

Rebekkah had Storge love for her son Jacob, and Isaac for his son Esau.

7. Mania is obsessive love; imbalance affection or overly attached.

Maybe David had Mania love for Bathsheba when he committed murder.

8. Meraki is love for creative arts, painting, music, decoration, cooking or baking.

King Solomon had Meraki love for poetry, orchard and building structures.

9. Agape is selfless, altruistic, sacrificial, compassionate, unconditional love.

We classify the love of God for us as Agape love or godly love.

You can explore the different types of love, but better explore agape love much more. The Holy Spirit produces agape love in us. Biblically, godly or agape love is patient, kind, humble or tolerant. Agape love is tolerant or patiently kind.

1.  Tolerant

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

How patient godly love can be? How tolerant agape love can be? Patience and tolerance are tested when provoked to get angry. The opposite of patient is quick-tempered. Patient is properly translated as long-tempered; it won’t easily retaliate with anger. Tolerance defers or suspends anger for the time being.

Godly love is tolerant and lenient. Patient agape love can wait a long time.

Godly love is kind. Kindness is mild and benevolent to the needs of others, as opposed to being harsh and cruel. Kindness is exhibited when we forgive.

Be Patient

To be patient and kind was illustrated by Christ in Matthew 18:26-35,

²⁶The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” ²⁷The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. ²⁸But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded. ²⁹His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.”

³⁰But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. ³²Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” ³⁴In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. ³⁵This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

Reflect on that situation. When we ask God for forgiveness of our sins, how do we know that God had really forgiven us? Practically, our attitude toward others proves that we received his forgiveness. Are we tolerant and lenient to our family? Are we patient and kind to people who follow different religion?

When it says, “Love is patient and kind.” It also supplemented, “It does not envy and not boast; it is not proud.” How should we explain that to a child?

The master was patient, kind and had pity to the first servant. In contrast, the forgiven servant was unforgiving; he’s harsh and cruel to his fellow servant.

The master forgave his huge debt (10,000 bags of gold @ $87 billion), and the harsh and cruel servant may have boasted that he’s someone great. He felt so proud and invincible, but he had no mercy of his fellow servant. Probably, he was very envious of his wealthy master. He was eager to get rich; by all means, he wanted to get rich; he had huge debt, and at all cost he wanted to get all the amount of money (100 silver coins @ $12,000) that his fellow servant owed him.

Are you eager to get rich? Are you envious of rich people who drive fancy cars? Are you tempted to buy the latest high-tech gadget in the market so you can be proud of? When the Holy Spirit produces love in us, we can persevere, and we can wait for the divine timing of God to grant us what is best in his eyes.

It declares in 1 Samuel 2:7-8, ⁷The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. ⁸He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.

How strong do you acknowledge that all things we have and enjoy come from God? When by his grace God abundantly showers us with blessings, we praise and thank him. How about in scarcity? Someone admitted, “I am disturbed when I have no money!” Another one said, “It feels good to have much money.”

When we are sufficiently blessed, we sense peace and tranquility of heart.

2. Tranquil

⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Agape love is fruit of the Holy Spirit in us. With godly love, we are tolerant, patient and kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonor, not self-seeking, not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. We do not dishonor, or disrespect others when we sense tranquility of heart and not easily angered.

You may have heard people demand, “Earn your respect!” In contrast, we do not demand respect to be earned. With agape love we can respect and honor others without trying to force the issue. We sense peace and tranquility of heart when others won’t verbally express appreciation to our accomplishments.

Recognition is appreciated, but if ever you keep records of wrong and you grumble and sulky, pray that agape love prevails in you. With godly love, we are tolerant, patient, kind and not easily angry, not resentful, sulky or grumble.

We would rather remember, thank and praise God for abundant blessings.

White Fang

          Have you seen the animated film “White Fang?” “White Fang” is about a wolf-dog that saved a police officer. On snowy night, the starving “White Fang” looked for food and came across a police officer. The police officer gave a piece of salmon and hoped that the starving White Fang might be able to return similar favor in the future. White Fang was still a puppy at that time. Fast forward: White Fang grew huge and strong when it encountered the police officer once again. At that time, a ferocious fugitive tried to kill the police officer. And, what else was there to save him? Yes! “White Fang” the wolf dog saved the police officer.

Loyalty of dogs to humans who saved them can easily touch the emotion. Many animals can remember the goodness of human to them. What do you think? Could humans readily remember also the goodness we’ve done for them?

Personally, it favors us to be reminded in Deuteronomy 8:18, ¹⁸Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.

When practical abundance causes thank and praise of God, we sense more assurance that the Lord sustains us in this life and in the next life to come.

Someone may wonder: “If God is love, he can tolerate and don’t record wickedness. So why do we still warn people about eternal punishment?”

Everyone is warned in 2 Peter 3:9, ⁹The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Many people declare that God is love, but they ignored that God is just. He is tolerant and kind, but God does not delight in evil. He is pleased with the truth. God is not happy when we sin. When we repent, he forgives and forgets our sins. Can we practically know that God forgave us? God forgives us so that we forgive others. The Holy Spirit produces agape love for us to keep no record of wrongs.

God forgets the sin he forgave as proof of his agape love. Agape love is not resentful; it keeps no record of wrongs, but delights and rejoices with truth.

3.  Truthful

⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Agape love is tolerant, patient, kind, humble but not envious, not proud. It honors others and not self-seeking; it is tranquil and not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Additionally, agape love is not happy with evil. Agape love keeps no record of wrongs, but delights with the truth. How do we integrate that?

Do you assume that agape love of God is unconditional? Truly, God loved us even before we were yet to be born. Even before we committed any sin, he had already forgiven us. It clearly declares in Romans 5:8, ⁸God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

When did God demonstrate his agape love for us? It happened more than 2,000 years ago. When Christ was crucified, God declared forgiveness of sins, past, present and future sin included. And since God had forgiven our sins, don’t be too quick to think that everyone received it. No! Did you receive forgiveness?

Everyone is forgiven but only sincere repentant believers experience the forgiveness of God. The forgiveness of God powerfully changes the repentant believer. And how do we know that we have sincerely repented of our sins? It says in Colossians 3:13, ¹³Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Agape love of God is demonstrated in the forgiveness of sins. Repentant believers receive forgiveness which is practically manifested in forgiving others. When godly love is active in us, we can forgive others; we are tolerant and kind to others; we sense peace and tranquility and keep no record of wrongs.

Practically, the amount of forgiveness we receive from God is manifested as we forgive others. We can forgive just as we’ve been forgiven by the Lord.

Someone said: “My fiancé always reminds me of my previous mistakes!” Another one said: “My parents always bring out my mistakes in the past!” Still it was told: “They always remind me of their grievances against my wrongdoing!”

And truly, when we repeat the same mistake, not a few people would be reminded of our previous mistakes. When mistakes that happened long time ago are brought out, it means those mistakes were kept on record and not forgotten.

Since they keep record of wrongs, does it mean that they didn’t practically received or experienced forgiveness from God, just yet? God knows a repentant believer, and he knows when we deceive him and ourselves. Practically, when we forgive others that, is when we personally experience forgiveness from God.

Together, let us reflect on what the Lord had declared in Jeremiah 31:34. ³⁴For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

The Lord knows everything from the past, present to the future, yet God chose not to remember every sin that he has forgiven. Now, if God had already forgiven us even before we were yet to be born, why do we still need to repent of our sins? The forgiveness of God takes effect only when we repent. Forgiveness from God is gift of God that only sincere repentant believers can experience.

Bicycle

A young boy pointed at the bicycle on display window and said, “I like that bicycle. Will you buy it for me, Dad?” The father said, “I will reserve that for you. When you are strong enough, you can take it wherever you want to go!” But few years later, the father went abroad. The boy became teenager. He observed that the bicycle still displayed not bought. Curiously, the teenager asked the store owner, “Why is the bicycle on display reserved in my name?” The store owner said, “Your father bought that bicycle many years ago, and told me to give you only when you ask for it, that is why it is still on display with your name in it.”

More than 2000 years ago, Christ declared that he purchased our freedom from sin; everyone is included but not everyone had been freed from sins, why? We can only experience forgiveness of sin when we sincerely repent of our sins. God has designed repentance as practical proof that we receive his forgiveness.

We don’t randomly throw away precious things, right? The forgiveness of God is priceless, and he won’t randomly give to anybody. Only sincere repentant believers can receive forgiveness from God. 2 Thessalonians 2:12-13 declares,

¹²All will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness. ¹³But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters loved by the Lord, because God chose you as firstfruits to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 

No matter what they assume, condemnation of unbelief had been decreed. So, we need to be sure that we sincerely repented of our sins. The Holy Spirit produces agape love in us as transformational proof that the forgiveness of God has taken effect in our lives. Keep on praying to be empowered by the Holy Spirit until you sense godly agape love prevailing in your heart. God bless everyone!

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