1 Corinthians 7:1-5 

¹ Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Reflection

            It is very common to reflect back to the past year. If you’re to conclude the past year, was it very satisfying? If you were to evaluate your relationship with others—friends, relatives or colleagues, what is it that you wish to change or improve? Someone said, “If you stop learning, you will start deteriorating.”

            Even with seemingly satisfying relationship, a desire for improvement can still be another opportunity of learning. The yearning for improvement in every aspect of life is natural. We wish to improve in our appearance, sleeping or eating habit, physical and spiritual health, improve the house, vehicle or clothing.

            We may also crave for things that others have accumulated or experienced. And many people have Bucket List; they list things they hope to attain, achieve or accomplish before they leave this world. Anyway, have you written a Bucket List?

A 104-year old grandma said, “Even old people can have fun.” “Skydiving” is listed in her Bucket List. Have you included “Skydiving” in your Bucket List also?

What are the things you wish to experience before you leave this life on earth?

            Together, let us reflect seriously what it commands in Ephesians 5:17-20:

            ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

            You could find fantasies that may temporarily excite anybody in this world. But, do you strongly believe that the will of God is good, pleasing and perfect? This is biblical reality that requires faith to believe it. So, how can we practically prove that we strongly trust that the will of God is good, pleasing and perfect?

Earnestly we pray and seek the will of God. We regularly read the Scripture to hear him speak to us personally and specifically, even with decision we make.

1.  Decision

¹ Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 

            Let it be clear to all that Apostle Paul did not randomly write any topic just to rebuke or admonish the church in Corinth. There was confusion about marital relationship among them. So, they sent a letter and asked him if it is good for a man not to have sexual relationship with a woman and remain unmarried.

            If someone decides to remain unmarried, is it good or not? Yes! What does the Scripture say? “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” Previously, Apostle Paul was also informed that sexual immorality had infected the church of Corinth; he advised marriage as solution to the problem.

            This biblical advice is applicable to everyone, and not just for married couples. Apostle Paul advised that each husband should have sexual relation with his wife, and each woman should have sexual relation with her husband. It implies that sexual relationship outside marriage is sexual immorality. Sexual immorality had been a church problem in the first century Christianity until now.

            Christ declares in Matthew 5:27-30, ²⁷You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

            Christ advised extreme measures to avoid hell; he implied that that sexual immorality is real serious concern that should not be ignored. Eyes are connected directly to the brain. You heard it said: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” It implies that you can see differently the things that others can see and appreciate.

Comic Strip

            Someone published a Comic Strip. An old woman and her husband walked in the park and glanced at a baby stroller next to them. The wife said, “Look at that! Is there anything more beautiful than a baby?” The husband looked straight into the eyes of his wife and said, “As a matter of fact, yes! You!” The wife was surprised and asked, “Me?” The husband explained, “Sure! Babies are beautiful but they come by that beauty naturally. Beautiful old people are works of art.”

            The wife was thrilled to the bones. Who is that wife who cannot appreciate when her husband told her that old people are works of art? Proverbs 18:22 says:

²² He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

So how do you personally interpret what it declares in Proverbs 19:14? ¹⁴ Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

            If wives are good favor from the Lord, each husband should cherish his own wife. Even so, there are many relevant and irrelevant things that husband and wife may argue and cannot agree with. Why? Not just for married couples. In any relationship, disagreement practically proves the uniqueness of each individual.

            Apostle Paul defined the biblical duty of husband and wife to each other.

2.  Duty

³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 

            The marital duty of both husband and wife should be fulfilled. What does it imply? The term “should” implies option or preference as compared to the term “must” which is interpreted as obligatory or mandatory. There should be mutual understanding between husband and wife when it comes to marital duty.

            Well, it could be very awkward moment for newlywed couples to have detailed conversation about marital duty; even so, a husband and wife should get marriage counseling of what the Scripture declares: “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” 

            How do you interpret that? Do husband and wife have no authority at all over their own body? No! It did not say that husband or the wife has no authority at all over their own body. It suggests that they have no exclusive authority over their own body. Meaning, both husband and wife should mutually share joint authority over the body of their spouse. How does joint authority work?

Joint Bank Account

Did you ask if Joint Bank Account is advisable for married couples? When married couples decide to have Joint Bank Account, they desire to be transparent of their expenditures – how they spend their money individually or as a couple. Joint account promotes transparency to prevent future arguments about money.

If the husband has higher salary than the wife or the wife has higher salary than the husband, should they deposit all their salaries to their joint account? If they deposit all their salaries regardless of the amount to their joint account, does it mean that they mutually agreed to equal authority? But, if they decide to deposit equal amount of money, does it imply that they may have reservation of trust for each other? Those situations can be agreed upon before they open joint account.

            Likewise, when it suggests that the husband and the wife have no exclusive authority over their own body and should mutually share joint authority over the body of their spouse, they mutually agree about the extent of biblical authority.

For instance: A husband may want to see long hair of his wife but the wife chooses to have short hair; or the wife want to see her husband wearing coat and tie but the husband prefers casual wear; the same principle applies to marital duty. Both husband and wife have preferences but they should mutually agree. They shouldn’t dictate what they wish for each other. Authority should be mutual.

            How can we relate mutual authority to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22? ¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not treat prophecies with contempt ²¹ but test them all; hold on to what is good, ²² reject every kind of evil.

            It is the will of God in Christ Jesus for us to rejoice always, pray continually and give thank in all circumstance, marital or individual duty included. We should not quench but seek and be inspired by the Holy Spirit. As preventative measure to temptation, we are strongly advised to gather and have devotion to prayer.

3.  Devotion

⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

            Why are married couples commanded not to deprive each other? Does it mean that depriving each other can be naturally instinctive? Think about it. If married couples do not have inclination to deprive each other, there’s no need for such command, right? Most often, if not at all times, when godly commands start with the phrase “Do not,” the natural tendency of mankind is to disobey.

            In short, married couples have tendency to deprive each other. If they sense a temptation to deprive each other, they should devote themselves to prayer. To deprive each other could have been temptation instigated by the devil.

So, by mutual consent, it is advisable for them to have devotion to prayer.

Religious or not, everyone has natural inclination to disregard godly commands. All of us are advised to devote enough time to prayers, not just married couples.

            If anyone decides to remain unmarried, it is good and admirable decision; but, if you wish to be married, be advised to know your marital duty, also. It is often asked, “How did you know that your spouse is the will of God for you?”  There’s no ideal way on how to find a spouse. Be prayerful and trust God for it.

Isaac

             When Abraham told his senior servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, was it the will of God for Isaac? It narrated in Genesis 24:63-67, ⁶³Isaac went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. ⁶⁴ Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel ⁶⁵ and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. ⁶⁶ Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. ⁶⁷ Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her.

            Eventually, Rebekah gave birth to twins: Esau and Jacob. Surely, they were look alike, just like any other twins we see around. But Isaac loved Esau while Rebekah loved Jacob. Their personal preference of which son they favored did not cause them to argue. Personal preference adds animation to marital relations.

            Reflect on 1 Peter 3:7, ⁷Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

What was the secret of Isaac for healthy marital relationship with Rebekah despite their differences in their preferences? He had devotion to prayer. Did he pray that the senior servant bring him a wife whom God chose for him? When his sons Esau and Jacob quarreled, certainly, Isaac had prayed for them to reconcile.

            Let’s reflect on what it advised us in 1 Peter 3:8-9, ⁸ Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. ⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

May husband and wife or siblings agree to disagree! May we face New Year with humility, sympathy, love, compassion for each other! Happy New Year to all!

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